My riding journey began at age 10, while I was spending a large amount of time at the Seattle Children’s Hospital to determine what was causing my severe health issues. I was granted a scholarship to attend a summer pony camp where I found myself and discovered the therapeutic benefits of being around horses. Upon returning home, I called every single stable listed in the phone book until I found one that would let me clean stalls in exchange for lessons.
Over the next several years, I was a working student at many barns, studied classical dressage, hunters, jumpers, and eventing, volunteered at a therapeutic riding program, retrained OTTBs, and taught lessons. Horses have been the focus and saving grace in my life as I have fought through physical disability, mental health challenges, abuse, assault, and sex trafficking, homelessness, and recovery.
I live with a combination of balance disorders called Vestibular Migraine and Meniere’s Disease. Both cause severe vertigo, imbalance, nausea, and hearing loss. For a period, I was wheelchair bound and have spent many months bedbound as well. At times, I use walking sticks for balance support. Doctors initially told me I would never ride horses again. When I am at the barn, my horse knows when I am feeling dizzy and patiently lets me lean on her. However, I am largely able to get around on foot except when the episodes strike. In the saddle, I have found that the increasing symptoms over the years have changed my proprioception in such a way that I struggle with some of the things that used to be very easy, like diagonals and seeing distances. I am confident walk/trot/canter and have popped over some very small jumps, but I need to regain confidence and foundational skills.
One major result of these disorders is that I am unable to drive. Because of this, I must pay a premium to have my horse located in the city, where I can bike to her. I also must factor the cost of transportation through rideshare apps in my lesson and showing budget. As a low-income person who comes from an extremely poor family, this has been a significant barrier. I also live with Bipolar 1 disorder, anxiety disorder, and C-PTSD, which has led to several hospitalizations. I’ve worked hard in therapy and have identified the grounding, mindful feedback from horses to be a key element in my overall wellness. When I spend time with my horse, I know I am in a safe place, but I also know that I must take responsibility for my verbal and nonverbal behavior and react intentionally.
I currently live in Olympia, Washington where I work in mental health and substance use recovery services for a nonprofit called Peer Olympia. I am working on my master’s degree in clinical Mental Health Counseling from Walden University and am expected to graduate in May 2023. I hope to obtain PATH Int. and HERD Institute certification to provide equine assisted psychotherapy services post-graduation. I am especially interested in developing peer-focused equine therapy programs as I believe deeply in the value of peer work. I have a beautiful OTTB I retrained prior to my vertigo reaching its peak who I am lucky to be able to keep, though I am struggling to afford anything beyond her basic care and vetting.
As far as my riding career goes, I have an ultimate dream of showing my horse at one of the Cascade Horse Shows hunter shows in 2023. Even if we are only able to do a cross-rail course, it would bring me immeasurable joy. I feel that I need to take some lessons on a simple, schoolmaster type hunter to regain confidence after years of struggling with balance.